Who am I again?

When you become a parent everything you do for yourself goes out the window, and you only ever think of one little person. Life changes completely and revolves solely around your new bundle. This has become so apparent that I completely and utterly forgot my own birthday this year.

It never even entered my mind that I would have a birthday to celebrate this year. In fact, I thought I had a month until my birthday when I suddenly realized that I only had a week.

So on the eve of my 31st birthday, I don't feel like celebrating. All I can think about is whether I've got all the washing on, when it needs to be hung out, what will I give Molly for lunch, should I wash the car, what time should we visit my grandparents....and the list is endless.

Somewhere along the line I thought I had lost myself in the ever long road of motherhood, but I have since discovered that I am still here, I'm just wearing a different hat, the hat of a mum. All my priorities have changed but I am still me. I no longer feel the need to celebrate my birthday, but my gosh will I get excited over Molly's birthdays. I can't wait to start making her cool birthday cakes and seeing her little face light up at all the wonders of her birthday. I can't wait to to tell her about the day she was born, and subsequently the horrendous pain she caused me when I was in labor.

Oh the joys of being a parent. I can't wait to horrify her with the stories of her arrival in this world. She will know what posterior means from an early age, and she will understand what I mean when I say "stitches", and she will also know that when I tell her that I love her, that it is unconditional and forever. Come what may, Molly will always be able to rely on me, and I will protect her for as long as I live.

It's funny how you come to understand so many things when you become a parent. I now truly understand how my mother must have felt when she had my sister and then me. How she must have worried about us and the world she had bought us in to. But most importantly, how she loved us from the very first moment she saw us and has always been there for us, as mad as she is and with a sick sense of humour to match, we wouldn't change her for anything. 

My birthday may come and go, but the only birthday that means anything to me now is Molly's. It was the day our lives got turned upside down and a little person was handed to me and her tiny hands reached out and grabbed my heart right out of my chest.

So tomorrow on my birthday I give thanks to my mum for giving me life and giving me her heart. She may drive me crazy at the best of times, but her love is unconditional and I am so lucky to have her.
 
Who am I again? I'm a mother who is very grateful for all the mothers she has in her life.