One whole year!

Last week marked the first birthday of my daughter Molly. I find myself in a state of disbelief at how quickly that year has gone by. Where on earth did the time go?! She is no longer my teeny tiny baby, but well and truly a toddler, and one with a whole lot of personality.

The bunting my grandmother and I made.

I had such a party planned for wee Molly. I made birthday bunting with my grandmother out of gorgeous materials which can be used every year. I made traditional Yugoslav shortbread and slices with my grandma. My mother and I bought a load of food including party pies and sausage rolls and we even made mini hot dogs. But the pièce de résistance was the birthday cake. I had talked it up so much and the pressure of having to deliver was weighing deeply on me. I made Molly a Little Miss Giggles cake with a velvet cake inside but instead of being red it was rainbow...and it turned out beautifully! I was so proud of myself. So Molly had a brilliant birthday party, however she was intent on not enjoying it.

Little Miss Giggles cake.

A combination of teething, still being unwell, separation anxiety and too many people made my little cherub a very upset 1 year old. She couldn't bear to be apart from me and cried every time I tried to put her down. She fell asleep on her daddy when we were going to do cake, and as my nieces and nephew had another party to attend we had to take photos with the cake whilst she slept peacefully in daddy's arms, completely oblivious (she'll never live this down hahaha).

Rainbow cake!

So the party ended and later some friends dropped by as they were not able to make it earlier. Molly had changed back to her normal bubbly and happy self and was having loads of fun playing and giving away loads of smiles. I couldn't believe it! Where was this happy child just a couple of hours beforehand? She certainly keeps me on my feet.

The birthday girl.

After being completely spoiled and having some really awful tantrums, my little girl had her first birthday party. I organized a time capsule and asked all our guests to write Molly a letter. This will be opened on her 18th birthday, so we are in for a very interesting birthday party in 2028, but that's a world away for now.

How do you say thank you?

I'm very privileged to come from the family that I do. My parents are not wealthy, they're just hard working and the most loving bunch and have always provided well for us. Even now, into my thirties my mother and father continue to help me in many ways. After a lifetime of love and nurturing how do you say thank you to the people you love? For 31 years David and Lily have loved, cared for and been mortified by me. I have certainly been a roller coaster of emotions over the years, but disagreements and horrid behaviour aside my mum and dad have never kicked me out. They have always stood by me and helped when they could

My mother has always encouraged my creativity and her faith in my writing skills has made her proclaim that I should be a columnist, however I've advised her that in order to be a columnist I would need some sort of degree, which sadly I lack. My only credentials are life experience and a love and passion for the English language, but my mummy is still encouraging and I love her dearly for it. So I thought the best way to thank my parents was to do it in the medium my mother loves and I know best....here.

An open letter to my parents:

Dear Mummy and Daddy,

I know I've not been the easiest child and I've certainly made my fair share of mistakes and bad choices, but you have always been there for me. Through the good, the bad, and the downright obnoxious. I've sworn at you, lashed out, behaved like a brat and I've been horrid. But for all those awful moments there have been a million wonderful ones.

When I was a young child, one of the things I looked forward to the most was spending a day with my daddy during school holidays. That one day you would take off work and take me to the cinema. Willow is still one of my all time favourite films, and I saw it first with you daddy. I love the way you are passionate about rugby, or any sport for that matter (this involves lots of screaming and some very choice words). I love the way you cared for and loved your parents so tenderly and gracefully. I remember when I saw you cry for the first time in my life, it was after granddad had the stroke and we were at the hospital visiting him. He'd told Alisse and I that night, that no matter what happened he'd always be with us. When we came into the hallway you cried. It was then that I realized that granddad was not going to get better, and that my father would soon lose his father. You put up a tough exterior daddy, but I know you're a big soft marshmallow inside, who loves his girls, and adores his grandchildren. I'm sorry that Alisse and I never inherited your love of golf, but we did inherit the short fuse you have haha! I am also very proud that I inherited your love of science fiction, an eye for argyle sweaters, and most of all the sweet tooth that we share.

Mummy, although it doesn't always seem like it, I love spending time with you. I remember very clearly you dropping me off at school, and me suffering from severe separation anxiety and chasing you across the playground hahaha! Like a lost puppy I would even follow you to the bathroom. You drive me crazy but you always have my best interests at heart. I love your clumsiness, I always have great stories to tell because of it. I love that you have instilled in me a love of literature, art and foreign film. I admire your relationship with your parents and how you always make time for them and that you speak to your mum every day, as I do with you. I can't even  begin to tell you how much I enjoy and adore your sense of humour. I have some brilliant laughs with you. I've also shared moments of loss and pain with you. Tears that I thought would never end, and heartache that shattered us all. Your my shoulder to cry on and my pearl of wisdom. Your my mummy and a wonderful one at that.

I don't say it enough to you, but I love you both and I am so grateful that I have you in my life. I am grateful for all the love, help and assistance that you have given me throughout my life and continue to do so. I'm afraid that all I have is words to offer you in return. So, thank you for being my mummy and daddy and for giving me a wonderful big sister and a loving and interesting life. Thank you for being you. I love you x