I'm melting!

Today is the all important Australia Day, so bring on the BBQ, lamingtons, VB, thongs, stubbies and the classic bonds singlet....and lets not forget that Aussie heat! Sweet Jesus, this land is hot. I can't believe that I was 4 months pregnant this time last year, and for the record, it was stinking hot then too. I feel a bit like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz when the bucket of water is thrown on her..."I'm melting, I'm melting!"

As an Australian without air con, I give a solemn middle finger salute to those of you who have the luxury of having air conditioning. Although I will say this, we are lucky to live in an old deco apartment, yes it can get hot in here, but not quite as bad as other places. Nevertheless, I am still extremely envious of those with air con.

This morning I had a shower, got out of said shower and dried myself, and within 2 minutes I was drenched again....this time in sweat. Yes, it's that hot. I never used to like the heat, and to be fair I'm still not the greatest fan, but I find that since I have become a mother I have really embraced the summer. This is mainly due to being able to get out and about with Molly.

We started Molly's swimming classes last week and she loved it! I have a water baby, which serves me right I guess. I always liked the pool, but I never liked the beach, and now I find myself drawn to the beach in order to give Molly that all Australian childhood, and I don't want her to miss out on anything. My reason for disliking the beach was my severe skin reaction to sea lice that would always attack me in the water and I would come out with huge welts all over me, hence I was embarrassed and tried to stay away.

I think that it's important for all children to be water aware, especially in a country like Australia. I also believe in good sun protection, so unfortunately Molly won't be going to the beach until I get my hands on one of those sun shelters. She has that peaches and cream welsh complexion and I'll be damned if she is going to end up with any sun damage to it.

Ah the joys of living in Oz. I may complain about the heat and a few other things, but I love my homeland and I'm glad that my daughter gets to grow up here and experience all the magic that Oz has to offer.

Never tear us apart...

Times have been tough for many of us in recent days. So much so, that I have been considering when I will go back to work part time and putting my dear little Molly into day care. I never thought that this would be an issue for me, however I have since come to realize that I cannot bear to be apart from my baby girl for more than an hour or two!

This may be the biggest cliche in the history of cliches but it is very true, you never actually know how much you can love a person until you have a child. It is the most overwhelmingly intense and joyous feeling in the world. You feel so many different feelings in one moment it takes your breath away. Molly has definitely turned our world upside down but in the best possible way. She makes everything better.

So why on earth would I want to put my munchkin into day care and essentially go to work to pay for said day care? The cost of child care in Australia is ridiculous. Yes, you do get about 50% of it back, but you have to have the money up front to pay for it. So I would only be working to pay for Molly's day care. I love spending time with Molly, and to be honest I'm not sure I am ready to give any of that up.

I actually feel nauseous at the thought of having to leave my little girl with anyone other than family, and even then it's hard for my hubby and I to relax. We just love hanging with Mo, and she loves hanging with us. I just want to cherish all these moments while we have them. She is growing so quickly and I want to spend as much time as I can with her.

So my question is this, will it ever feel right to put my baby into child care? Or will I always naturally feel like this because I am a mum?

For now, I say that Molly and I will not be torn apart prematurely. We are having way too much fun right now and we are going to enjoy every moment.

Grumpy old man...

Today Molly and I headed to the park for a catch up with some friends from mothers group. It was a beautiful day, although it was a little windy at times, it really was a lovely day. We all chatted about our first Christmas' and New Years with our babies and all the presents our little angels got.

After a while we decided to head back to one of our places for a much needed cuppa. As we were leaving the park chatting amongst ourselves about nothing in particular, an older man was approaching the park. He took one look at us and started shouting god knows what at us. I didn't understand what he was saying until one of my friends shouted back "I work thank you very much!!!". The old git was throwing obscenities at us about being on benefits and that he should cut us all off (like we were in his will or something!). I was slightly taken aback by his outburst, and after walking on I became completely infuriated.

How dare that man judge us! Just because we are mums, doesn't mean we are dole bludgers, which coming from him was laughable considering he was drunk in the middle of the day, presenting a very stereotypical image of what people deem as a dole bludger. I am horrified by his comments. I have worked hard for most of my life and I have paid all my taxes. As one of my friends pointed out, we don't have to justify ourselves to some half wit on the street, but I resent his instant presumption that we were all on benefits. In actual fact, one of us works 4 days a week and the rest of us are looking at going back to work very soon. The biggest downfall for us is childcare. We would be working just to pay for childcare, not that the moron who tried to slander us would have a clue.

I am so bitter about this verbal attack. If I could see that vulgar mouthed moron again, I would have a few choice words for him and perhaps even a shoe might be thrown. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Anyway, now that I have had my rant I guess I feel a little better, but seriously, what is the world coming to? I feel like all the goodness in the world has evaporated sometimes. When I was a kid, people were not that nasty or jaded. Things seemed so much simpler back then. We would walk to the local corner shop or ride our bikes there and get a bag of lollies for 50cents. There wouldn't be any crazy old buggers about scaring people. These days you can't let a child out of your sight for fear of someone trying to walk off with them or some lunatic speeding around the streets running them over. Lollies are now a weeks wages and ice creams are worth a mortgage. Sheesh! Things have changed and my only hope is that no what is going on around us, that Molly grows up feeling happy and loved and doesn't have to deal with weirdos like the one we ran into today.

That time of the month...

I was just trying to talk to my hubby about my period and that I was in sync with my girlfriends, when he got all flustered and asked me how I new we were all in sync, and if that's what women talk about. I answered, yes, it is one of the many things women share with one another. He was horrified. Why is this natural occurring cycle so taboo? It's just a down right awful time for a woman and what? We can't talk about it because it makes men squeamish? Me thinks not my dear friends. Our mothers burned their bras and protested for our rights as women and one of those rights is to speak freely about our periods!

Since having Molly I have been graced with my period twice now. The first one was erratic, short and light. This second one has been abysmal. I feel like my insides are falling out and that I have been battered all over my body with a tyre iron. To my misery, my friend advised me that for the first 6 months after having a baby ones period can be terribly volatile. After getting used to not having a crimson wave to ride each month for over a year, I am now on a massive Debbie Downer. I guess it's that old adage, "all good things must come to an end."  I am hating that stupid expression right now. Why can't good thing go on forever?

So in amongst the joys of having my monthly visit from the hemoglobin fairy, and last weeks poo incident, I was carrying my gorgeous little girl into our apartment from the back garden on New Years Eve thinking to myself 'hmmmm I think I need to change your nappy, it seems a bit full', when I felt a trickle on my leg and foot. I looked up, thinking my neighbour had just watered his plants again, only to find that all was dry above me. I looked around and then the answer hit me like a ton of bricks. Molly had leaked on me once again, but hey, at least this time it was just wee. I don't think I could cope with another poo attack so close to the last one ha ha! It's in these moments that only a mother can look at their child and see love. She may wee and poo on me at times, but she has such a power over me that I just don't care, because she's my little monkey.

I am now sat here thinking about when my little monkey will receive her first period, and oh my god, I hope she does not have a reaction like me. I completely lost my mind and my poor sister was the one who was at home with me and had to explain it all to me. Then she gave me a pad, and back then they were like fricken mattresses! She ended up having to call my mum at work because I was so hysterical and she didn't know what to do. I wish I could withhold all these kind of nasties from Molly, but it's an important passage in a woman's life. And it's essentially the cycle of life. So even though I hate having my period, it's all intertwined with our ability as women to carry a child, and having that life grow inside of you, as alien as it may be, it's the one true miracle in this world and we get to be part of it. Either way, I want her to know that she can talk to me about anything including her period, and not feel embarrassed or ashamed.